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Timing
7/16/2009 - Mary Johnston

Ive heard that timing is everything and Im starting to believe it.  Today I had a conversation with my menopausal sisters at work.  We compared symptoms, complained that life is unfair and shared possible solutions.  One woman said that her partner was entering menopause at the same time her daughter was entering adolescence.  Their out-going voice mail message said:  hello, you have reached the house of hormones.

It seems that when women plan to have children, they rarely do so according to their own biological futures.  Its usually based on the spacing between siblings.  The rule of thumb used to be two years between children, although the thought of getting pregnant with a one year old in the house sounds daunting to me.  

Increasing numbers of women are postponing parenthood for good reasons--waiting for the right partner, establishing an income to support said child, affording a house to raise him/her.  But do these women ever say to themselves, if I wait until Im forty to give birth, Ill be 53 when she hits 13?  A potentially explosive situation.  This year my daughter will turn 27 years old.  And I am grateful that as my life heats up (pun intended), her life is calming down.


5 Comments From Other Members
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7/16/2009 Susan Terbay from Dayton OH wrote:
My four daughters have asked me at various times - when did you hit menopause?!?! I said I have no idea - I don't remember leaving puberty hormones!!!! I'm the same I was when I hit that time in my life - I'm just older and dealing with it with less energy!
7/16/2009 from wrote:
I'm finding that since menopause and having less estrogen in my system, although it's a great thing considering my cancer was estrogen related, I feel as though a great deal has been sucked out of me, especially my joints and bones. I read that eating two teaspooons of honey per day with a teaspoon of cinnamon is really good for your bones. Regarding the children, I think they can be difficult at any age you have them, it all depends on the children!!!!!!!!!!!!
7/17/2009 Dorothy Sander from Durham NC wrote:
I agree Celia! I had my children when I was 32 and 35...peri menopause and menopause added more stress for me during their late teen years but so did everything else in my life! If you do the late parenting thing, you're also likely to have aging parents to deal with while you're dealing with hormonal children and menopause...oh and a husband having a mid-life crisis and/or health issues. It's a no win situation. I've decided we get lambasted at mid-life no matter how we plan it! But, the young people should take notice! But then again, they never think they're going to age! Did we???
7/17/2009 from wrote:
No. I remember quite clearly when I got a British driving licence, which in the old days used to last for a long time before the necessary renewal, looking at the renewal date and figuring out that I would be over 50 when that came due. I dismissed the idea immediately, thinking that it was so far away it was in another lifetime. Never did I think life would pass so quickly.
7/19/2009 LeAnn Farley from Mt. Pleasant IA wrote:
Well, you know what they say, "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans." Most of us try to have some control by planning things the best that we know how, but we don't know what is really going to happen in the future. We are left with trying to live the best we can each day as it comes. Maybe people are putting a little too much thought into having their children now days. An older woman told me once that it all used to play out more naturally; and that was accepted. Then older children helped with younger ones as mothers went about their days. Everyone seemed to worry less.

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