I’m in the process of obtaining permission to use assorted lyric lines in a work I am bringing to closure.  I’ve always had the assurance that I could contact an old beau, and with his help, we would breeze right on through this lengthy process; he’s not going to be available though.  I spoke to his father today; he remembered I had a part in his son’s life as he gave me the grievous message of his passing.

I was seventeen, going on eighteen, when I fell in love for the first time.  He was eighteen, going on nineteen…a tall, handsome green eyed music man.  We had our marriage planned within the first year of our love together.  But life had other plans for him and me.  He’s been happily married, and I’ve lived a life I chose but he was never more than a thought away from me, and visited often…in my dreams.  I wouldn’t interfere with his life for any amount of a dream, but we had a history in common and he was an expert in the field.

I feel sad to know I won’t see him again.  I never held him as a lover once we were apart, I loved him though, like no other, and I will never, ever see those beautiful green eyes again.  We were never married but he always called me his first wife, an endearment I so much enjoyed.  I know I have no right to grieve, but I do.