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Angels in my life......
12/10/2010 - Susan Terbay

I have breast cancer and have been thrown literally onto a journey I was not expecting or prepared.


As many of you know I work in campus ministry at the University of Dayton. In blogs awhile back I wrote at times of my part-time job during the summer on campus as a wedding co-ordinator at our chapel.  Over these past couple of years I have had the pleasure of interacting with the many angels who come and go within our chapel.  It never ceases to amaze me when I look for help and call out to one of them - there is a response.  Did you know there are wooden door angels???  Trust me, if it wasn't for them - many times when the doors would stick I had to call upon them to help open them.  


Before I came back to work full time in August I was watering the plants at the altar and for some reason - still have no clue as to why, I turned and fell.  Rather embarrassing but not too extremely 'unnormal' for me.  When I fell, my arms stretched out in front of me to help cushion the fall.  As I sat there I did ask which of the angels were messing around and tripped me.  My ankle bothered me the most so my concentration was to limp back to the office and I called the one secretary, mother of four, and told her to quietly come over to the office and when she arrived I shared with her what had happened - that I was okay but needed to tell someone and so we drank a coke together to settle me down and for her to do her mothering over me!!!!


A couple of weeks later I felt  a lump thinking,  it was probably a pulled muscle from my fall and thought nothing more of it.  However, the lump never went away and so I called the doctor and made an appointment.  While examining me, she felt the lump I was talking about but the lump of the cancer was not that lump.  She found the cancer in another area near the lump I felt and just suggested the mammogram and an ultrasound.  The rest is history.


Had I not fallen I would not be aware of this growth inside my body that if left unnoticed would have destroyed me.  So if anyone doesn't believe in angels - I wonder why.  If it wasn't for angels, 'messing around' and sort of knocking me down I would be clueless of what is happening within my body.  Recently as I sat quietly alone in the chapel I did mention to them that I'm grateful for whoever was involved but I did ask that the next time maybe a tap on the shoulder?  But then again, knowing me, sometimes I need to be knocked on my butt to be made aware of something and perhaps the angels know me better than I do myself.


My surgery is scheduled for next week.  Christmas will be different this year but the gifts are always the same faith, hope and more than ever love. This is a single journey - my path before me - but no one ever has to walk any path alone. A young mother has joined me as she too is also facing surgery at the same time.  I have joined her in this sisterhood of women whose strength and love of life is contagious.  Iím a very blest woman.  My writings of late at the various places I write are about becoming vigilant and alert to one's body and also one's spirit. 




7 Comments From Other Members
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12/10/2010 from wrote:
Dear Sue, your blog is inspiring, your faith remarkable. And it is faith that will get you through this. I will be thinking of you and praying that many angels watch over you as the misbehaving cells are removed and you recover from the process. God Bless you, as He has blessed me.
12/10/2010 Susan Terbay from Dayton OH wrote:
Thank you Celia. The 'c' word is threatening but only if it manipulates my life. I've survived many challenges and this is just another one I'm facing. The young woman who is facing breast cancer has much more stress than I because she has young children. My children are grown - and that comforts me a lot. I learned about life when I was working at hospice - from those who were dying and looking back upon what life truly means. I'm very fortunate to have learned this early. None of us know our last day - and I still don't!!!
12/10/2010 from wrote:
You're right about not allowing it to manipulate your life. So many people allow their illnesses to take them over until nothing else exists. I have read that the greatest survivors of this are those in 'active denial' (I'm one of them). You, through your experiences, have a tremendous spirit. Attitude is everything, and you're way up there with an A1. Sending you love.
12/10/2010 Michele Moore from New Port Richey FL wrote:
Susan. I'm so sorry you are facing this. I have no doubt you will face it with strength, determination, and stubbornness. I will keep you in prayer for a speedy and complete healing. I'm sending love to you. Do you feel it?
12/10/2010 Sue Ann Crockett from Ferndale WA wrote:
Susan.. I hope you'll consider your ladies at WE part of your group of angels. We will certainly be doing what we can to bless your life.. and your process. Thank you for sharing with us.
12/11/2010 Susan Terbay from Dayton OH wrote:
Thank you Michele - how can I not ever feel your love? Celia your attitude and wisdom speaks of love - thank you. I wrote an article Angels Without Wings - and it speaks of the angels in my life - the human angels, nature angels. We are surrounded and both winged and wingless are waiting. There are lots of "Clarences" in life and I have been blest with many. I told God if I have produced this tumor - then I'm going to produce something good from it - I'm writing a journal and maybe some day I'll know what good I am to produce. In the meantime - life is beckoning!
12/11/2010 Anne Mudd from Wheat Ridge CO wrote:
Bless you Susan, and bless that beautifu, precious angel that stands beside you.

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